When I think back to how my mindset made my most significant change, I think of how difficult it was to do. This change was not me changing the degree I wanted to pursue after almost finishing it (which I’ve done) or changing my mind on the state I wanted to live in less than a year after I moved there (also me).
No, my biggest change was my mindset. I started my Life Coaching journey in the 9th year of my master’s program (yes, 9th) — Human Services with a specification in Life Coaching. My first ever life coaching experience or education on the subject, and I fell in love! The idea that I could channel my passion for helping others succeed in a way that truly spoke to me was Life changing for me.
And I took more classes and read more books and gained a lot of knowledge about how to help others. The person I was not expecting to help was myself. It sounds cliche or corny, but it’s the truth. Like a lot of us, I have my down days. I have moments (sometimes more than moments) where I feel overwhelmed and feel as though things I want are impossible to achieve, and goals I have will never be reached. Of course, I do! I am a mom, a wife, an entrepreneur; a student…I’m human! All this was especially true in the early stages of my businesses.
Yes, businesses. I have started and stopped at least ten different businesses, from canning my homemade jams to selling facial scrubs online. I would get excited about an idea, start working, and then I would hit a stumbling block and then quit. I did this so many times it became my norm; it was my thing, and I was good at it. That was until I started my life coaching business.
As a life coach, we come across people who feel they have no choice but to quit and give up on their goals. It’s the job of a coach to keep them motivated and hold them accountable. It’s their job NOT to let them give up on themselves and their goals.
Our job…my job. Fast forward to me starting my life coaching business and in the early stages. I’m very excited. I’m getting mentoring; I’m learning a lot, I’m thinking “wow, this is awesome! I found my calling.” Being a coach is all I can think about. And then, I hit my first hurdle.
I seek advice, and I march on. And then my second, and third hurdle and then the overwhelm set in, and things got hard. I had a huge to-do list that sat on me with the weight of an elephant. I was stuck in this overwhelmed place and would look at my to-do list and do nothing.
The anxiety of precious time passing was palpable. I realized that I hit my wall. The invisible wall that I would usually stop and give up. And there it was, staring me in the face. But this time, I didn’t give up, but I also didn’t take action.
So there I sat, literally for weeks doing nothing, stuck in neutral. Having sleepless nights and thinking of my to-do list and yet I did nothing. I could not move forward. “Why?” I asked myself, “why can’t I do this? Why WON’T I do this?” And then it hit me; my new-found knowledge helped me realize that it was me.
I was the hurtle. And the life coach inside me knew that I could not quit this time. This was my pattern, and it’s what kept me from trying to figure out how to jump the hurdles that came up. In the past, I had given myself permission to quit. But coach Darrell, would not let me give up this time. But still, I was stuck, and the fact that I knew I was stuck and knew it was in my mindset was agony.
I realized then how powerful the mind is in keeping us in one specific place. How powerful it is at masking our fears as reasonable excuses to quit and give up. And how good it is at keeping us from reaching the stars. I knew then that I had two choices, give up or press on.
Those were my only options, and I thank God for my Coaching because I chose to press on this time! But how? Well, what would I say to a woman in my position? Agree to take action. Okay, I agree. Then, understand your goal and have it be clear as day.
Okay, check. Next, break down that big goal into small goals and those small goals into steps. Then take your first step. Okay! I can take one action! One step is doable! And I took my first step, and then my next until I crossed over my hurtle. And it felt amazing! I was exhilarated!
I had never done that before, and I did it, and it worked! This is what I wanted to share with you. The mind is a powerful thing. Making changes to your mindset is easier said than done. But I am here to tell you it CAN be done, comfortable or not.
Don’t allow yourself to give up. If you can give yourself one small task that you can do today to get yourself closer to your goal, then you have already begun to succeed. And if you feel as though your dreams and goals are not reachable, find a coach to help guide you through.
You are important, your ideas are possible, and you can get through it. Start where you are, work with what you have, and do what you can. Why not you? – Darrell LaSane Career Confidence Coach and Owner of Why Not Me: Career Coaching and Counseling firstname.lastname@example.org