The Journey to find true fucking love ??

My name is Maxx Angenetta Jones, this is mother beginning journey  of my book about love and relationships from an intuitive entrepreneur’s point of view. However, in the first portion of my life I went through the normal things that everyone goes does. How we all want to be with someone, to share our life with someone. We want a significant other in our lives. Some of the journeys that we take getting there can be problematic and sometimes when we get there it’s almost like playing musical chairs. The first to sit gets the prize. 

Knowing what it is we’re looking for now that’s the whole problem. We are taught so many bad habits and I mean bad habits when it comes to love. We are told:

 ‘Don’t tell people what you want because it may scare them off.’

 ‘Be quiet about our wants and needs or be compliant about our wants and needs.’

 ‘Don’t be too strong. Don’t be too hard. Don’t be too masculine. Don’t be too feminine.’ 

There is so much advice out there in the world and I can guarantee you that it’s all wrong.

There is just bad advice all over the place. It’s time to change all that.

We learned about relationships from our parents. Even if our parents aren’t together anymore, we’ve learned from the parent that stayed and from the aftermath of the other’s living. Regardless of the circumstances of the separation or the divorce it still has a negative impact. Even if we evolve passed that, trying to learn relationships in a different way, it still colours our perceptions. We should learn to get coaching therapy after each relationship and talk about it. Because regardless of whether you tell family and friends it was mutual or a joint break up, there is still someone who’s hurt. Someone left with a wound.

In the Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, he talks about how we’re not born with any relationship problems or issues nor bad information or mindset but as every year passes we acquire a wound, we get a mark that continues to hurts us, so by the time we get to the age of thirty there are wounds and marks all over us.

We all have to deal with someone in our life. Someone who can hug us, care for us, love us and still say or do something that puts us right back in that helpless-hurtful place. Through no fault of their own and yet, their words or actions have us reliving a traumatic experience in painfully vivid detail. When that happens, you are not dealing with the present, you’re dealing with the past. It only feels like you’re dealing with the present, but you absolutely are not. They have touched a room deep within your soul and its contents are being brought to the forefront. This is happening because it needs to be healed. Granted, there are lots of times when we believe we were healed simply because there is no pain to feel. We thought that we would feel it forever and that is just not true. That pain is there, waiting in a dormant place, waiting to be felt all fresh and new. Waiting for someone to touch and remind us. To show us that we are still broken and now is the time to heal.

That healing requires us to recognise the pain and hurt that we’re feeling, to explore it. Learn why we are not responding emotionally and how do we do that? How do we address pain appropriately? Well, I’m going to give you my vision.

Yet, I know people will have their own vision and I respect that and them. At some point, I will bring friends of mine to submit her or his vision of how we address our relationship pain, but for now I believe in sitting down and talking to someone. Someone other than my friends. Why do I say someone other than my friends? Because my friends have also been hurt. They are on their own healing journey and not yet mastered love and relationships. Plus, let’s be honest, at a certain point even your best friend is going to get tired of hearing it. They will finally give in to the urge to say ‘Move on, get someone else!’ I wish it was that easy, I truly do but it’s not. 

Take the time. Sit down with a life coach, therapist, psychologist, whoever you feel comfortable expressing your innermost with and heal from the end of that relationship. Say the things you couldn’t say then but so wanted…needed too. It is good to do it for each and every relationship, so find a relationship coach and unburden yourself. That’s the first step.

And if your friends are telling you to move on, it’s good to move on but not to another person, not just yet. Not until you’re fully healed because your new partner is a person who deserves better. They’re not a therapist or a psychiatrist, so they are not equipped to help you deal with the pain you are carrying. Don’t give that drama to your new partner, it’s unfair on them. 

Let me say it again: When someone has broken your heart, don’t move on to the next person. You must look after yourself first! Your partner cannot heal what someone else has done to you. That trauma could be from birth, from childhood, from your parents, not just your previous relationship. Who knows? So, why not find out?

Before I go on I want to say thank you for taking the time to heal yourself and find a professional that can hear you and I would like to give you some advice. Healing yourself by hating the person or by feeling or doing anything negative is not the right choice and I say this because you don’t know why they are behaving as they are. You are not aware of what brought them to this point or what made them touch that memory in you. 

Look at it from an objective point of view, you can be free from conflict. You can be free to heal older wounds. Now, it’s time to get ready for the journey ahead of you. Are you ready? Let’s go!