Success, Happy & Hope Are Greater Than Failure, Grief & Sorrow

Success, Happy & Hope Are Greater Than Failure, Grief & Sorrow

Following the foregoing mathematics formulas – Success, Happy and Hope are greater than Grief, Failure and Sorrow.

I am often approached with questions that focus on the metrics that govern happiness. This question really underscores one seven-letter word: SUCCESS. When you think about it, this word dominates almost every phase of your life. Are you happy in your profession? Are you successful in your relationship? Were you successful in losing weight. Was your meeting successful? Have you found your personal success as a mother/father?

The peculiar thing about success, is that it is extremely difficult to hold onto because it is a constant moving target. Unwanted and unexpected dreadful grief happenings often present horrendous detours in your happiness. You may feel successful one day and then the next feel you have completely failed. Measuring your personal successes yearly can be daunting and discouraging. Measuring day by day is a better option. On a daily basis you are better able to focus on the things that make you happy and feel worthwhile. Daily success in reconciling your grief is sometimes one step forward and two steps backward but in the end your success will be greater than your failures. Success is reaching a small goal and beyond. Success is reaching a happier moment beyond your hoped-for dream. The absolute grand champion blue ribbon prize is when you are truly successful and actually feel rewarded and find joy in the healing journey.

When our six children were young, my wife and I carefully made a list of values we would try to live by as a family. Some we gave careful attention to included things like “Merchants would always pray together as a family” and “Merchants would never swear in our home” and “Merchants would try to always share and express love for each other” and “Marchants will always try to do our best in everything we do” and “Marchants will never, never give up.”

Then as years passed by we look back upon the foregoing values and other family values and analyzed if we stayed the course. Were we successful? We noted the realization that our family values needed some fine-tuning along the way as success was a constant moving target. Unexpected challenges in life’s journey necessitate tweaking one’s values and efforts. Grief can result in an absolute need to repair and refurbish your life. Willingness to try to mend the cracks in your life will lead to your success.

As I ponder the true definition of success I recognize success is unique and personal. So, to answer the question at hand: success can be defined in so many ways but when you come to clearly know who you are and like your new you – to feel free in your own personal quiet way and accept what and how you are – then you have straightforwardly arrived at your own SUCCESS.

Success in grief reconciliation is fleeting as is failure. Failure and success are two variables that can endure. Which do you want? I prefer happy-ever-after. My success metric used to be tightly tied to my calendar. Life’s experiences have helped me realize that spending my time sensibly and happily is far more important. Perhaps Woody Allen was correct – 80% of success really is showing up. I’ve learned how to enjoy daily baby steps. Happily, ever-after is a worthy goal.

You only have one life to live. Don’t ever compare your life to others as a measurement of your personal success. To live life successfully, happily and hopefully is what you should pursue. Even when grief circumstances turn your life asunder and you feel torn apart, success, happiness and hope should be your goal. They are greater than failure, grief and sorrow. It is my humble prayer and desire that a happy success may follow you in your grief relief journey.

Believing Dreams Will Come True

Believing Dreams Will Come True

Until when will you believe? What if you did everything you could, while believing, and still nothing’s happening? What will you do?
A. Let go?
B. Continue believing?
C. Work on something else?
I read somewhere that writing your goals will make it real for you. So, one time in December 2012, I wrote my goals, with a timeline. I felt superman powers that day that I thought by just writing all my very specific goals down (date with events), God will hear it and He will make it come true for me! Yes, like magic!

I am believing that and I believed it true that every day, I’d look at my list and would excitedly imagine it happening soon! Every morning I’d read my list and I’d pray for it.
Do you know what happened? Two out of the seven items came true! And guess what?! with exact time (month and year) and events!

Was it magic? Was it just perfect timing? Was it pure luck? or Was it because I believed?
What do you think? But, you know what? to this day I have not let go. I continue to believe that my five other items will come true soon!

I have to tell you though that even if I’d look at my list still, daily, and pray for it, I made sure to leave my concerns, worries and issues in God’s hands. Sister Teresa of Calcutta heard the voice of God while traveling by train, she believed it. She said it was a call within a call that she was to serve the poor in the slums. She asked permission, and even if it took a while for the permission to be granted, she didn’t lose hope. She said it wasn’t her will, it’s God’s will. She continued to believe, and the rest was history.

It is fun to dream! It is fun to look ahead and see the possibilities that are in store for us! It is fun to believe! As the days passed by in December 2012 and no event was happening, I knew there was nothing I could do if it wasn’t time yet. It will never be because I will it, it was all about God’s will, all according to His perfect timing.

Friends, there are three important things to think about here:

First, I hope we learn to let go. Not to let go of our dreams, but to let go of worrying, anxiety, and self-righteousness. If it is meant to be, God will make all our dreams come true for us. Right?

Second, I hope we will continue to believe in the beauty of our dreams. There will be a lot of times when we feel nothing is happening, but I believe that something within has started to grow, it just hasn’t shown in reality yet, but it is coming. It is coming soon!

Third, I hope we won’t get fixated that we forget to work on something else! Enjoy life! Show up!
Have fun! There is more to life than our dreams! Do something else! Embrace life’s other surprises!

I thank God for the options and alternatives.
My five items didn’t happen as planned. There were a lot of detours, diversions, stopovers, interruptions, challenges, and threats.
But, looking back now, it was beautiful! It was beautiful because it also came with a lot of hope, opportunities, lessons, joy and awesome surprises!
Just like Sister Teresa of Calcutta, let us not lose hope.
If God meant our dreams to come true, it will be in an easy and relaxed manner, in His perfect timing and for the highest good of all.
May all our dreams be blessed.