By Jowell Doughly, a certified Confidence and Wellness Coach.

Society often gives us a checklist for life: get an education, build a career, find a partner, get married, and have children. But what happens when your path doesn’t align with that list? For many women, including myself, breaking free from these societal norms isn’t about rebellion—it’s about redefining happiness on our own terms.

The Quiet Revolution Among Women in America

Here’s the thing: I’m not alone. A lot of women are choosing a different path. Did you know that 40% of women aged 18–44 in America say they don’t plan to have kids? And the number of women deciding not to get married is growing, too.

The reasons are as varied as we are: pursuing careers, valuing freedom, focusing on personal growth—or just knowing deep down that it’s not for them. For me, the decision has been shaped by my own fears and worries (more on that later), and the cultural lens I grew up with.

The Middle Eastern Perspective: Where Tradition Meets Guilt

I come from a Lebanese and Syrian family where family, marriage, and kids are everything. In my culture, being a good daughter often means following a very specific path. Marriage and motherhood aren’t just milestones—they’re expectations.

So, you can imagine the looks I get when I say I don’t want kids or that I’m not in a rush to get married. At family gatherings, it’s always the same questions:

• “When are you settling down?”

• “Don’t you want kids to take care of you when you’re older?”

• “What’s the point of working so hard if you’re not building a family?”

These questions come from love, but they hurt more than I’d like to admit. It feels like my choices are seen as failures, and sometimes it’s hard not to feel like I’m disappointing everyone I care about.

For anyone navigating cultural pressures in Middle Eastern families, you know exactly what I mean.

The Guilt That Lingers

Let’s talk about guilt. Because, wow, it’s real.

There are days when I wonder if I’ve made the wrong decision—if I’ll regret not giving my parents the life they dreamed for me. It’s not that I don’t care about tradition or family. It’s just that I worry.

I worry about whether I could raise a child in today’s world. I worry about the pressure to be “perfect” at everything. I worry about losing myself in a life that doesn’t feel right for me. This isn’t about freedom—it’s about my overthinking brain running a million miles an hour.

Despite the guilt, I know in my heart that this is the right choice for me. I’m prioritizing my happiness, even when it’s hard.

Choosing Happiness, Not Perfection

Here’s what I’ve learned: choosing your own path doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you brave.

Every time I say “no” to societal norms, I’m saying “yes” to myself. Read that again… Every time I say “no” to societal norms, I’m saying “YES” to myself. That doesn’t mean it’s easy—far from it, really. But the more I embrace who I am, the more I realize that success isn’t about ticking boxes. It’s about living a life that feels real.

For women like me who are breaking societal norms about marriage and children, know this:

• You’re not a failure for choosing yourself.

• Guilt is heavy, but it doesn’t have to define you.

• Happiness looks different for everyone, and that’s okay.

• You’re not alone.

Let’s Talk About Change

I know how ingrained cultural and societal expectations can be. But I also believe we’re at a turning point. More women are stepping up and saying, “This isn’t for me,” and their stories matter.

If you’ve ever felt stuck between tradition and your own happiness, know that you’re not alone. Navigating and overcoming cultural guilt for breaking traditions is hard—but it’s also empowering.

So, let’s start a conversation. What’s one expectation you’ve let go of? Or what’s one thing you’re working on embracing about yourself? Share your story—I’d love to hear it.

About the Author

I’m Jowell, a certified Confidence and Wellness Coach based in West Hollywood. My mission is to help people embrace their imperfections, break free from societal norms, and build unshakable confidence. I work with individuals struggling with anxiety, depression, and self-worth, providing the tools and support they need to step into their power.

In addition to coaching, I founded Midnight Wonderland, an annual rock ‘n’ roll charity event at the Whisky A Go Go that raises awareness for mental health and supports The Midnight Mission. I also launched Show Me The Truth, a nonprofit dedicated to raising money for other nonprofits that fund therapy, rehabilitation, and medication for those in need, especially survivors of trauma.

My passion for music, fashion, and mental health advocacy drives everything I do. Whether through coaching, events, or creative projects, my goal is to inspire others to walk away from toxic situations, embrace self-growth, and live authentically.

To learn more, visit www.imperfectrockstar.com.